Did you get to read part 1 of this? Time for part 2 before we get back to some business topics.

Let’s get physical, physical, I wanna get physicaaaaaaal; lemme hear your body talk, body talk (RIP Olivia)

We’re in our early 50’s. We live the standard sedentary lifestyle that comes with having a 9-5 office job. We did the usual bit of gardening or maintenance whilst still living in the city. Once we bought a farm however, that changed overnight.

Suddenly we found ourselves hauling 100 litres of water every single weekend for months as we commuted to the farm to start building. Seventeen months we hauled water, bathed in a plastic bucket, outside. We had to push back the overgrown bush that was untouched for 50 years. This entailed cutting grass by hand and clearing land by spade. Pushing a lawnmower for 350 metres on way to make an entrance road. Digging holes using a gwala (heavy metal pole with a sharpened edge) to get through the rock-hard ground. Carrying sheets of IBR roofing, ceiling boards, wooden trusses, bags of cement, 50 litres of paint. Dirty all the time.

We worked from sunup till way after sundown, collapsing into bed exhausted, sunburnt, and usually wounded or bitten. We’d wake up stiff and sore, have to go to work for the day, then get back to building the farm straight after again.

That went on relentlessly for an entire year. The first year of going offgrid and moving to the country is a brutal assault on all your senses. You will be more tired and sore than you ever have in your life.

It’s easier when you’re younger, but it seems that it’s mostly the 40- to 50-year-olds heading out the cities. If you are planning on following in our footsteps, start getting fit now. At minimum, walk every single day, work up to walking 5km a day. That will already help build strength. But it’s not just that. It’s the bending down a million times a day to pick up heavy things, then carrying them around the farm. Learn to do that properly now to minimize the strain on your back.

We stocked up on SlowMag. That really helped. We chugged those down daily. Some sort of Deep Heat cream was invaluable that first year.

Your body starts to adjust eventually, and you find yourself being able to do more. I could easily move 100 wheelbarrows of compost around the farm and live to tell the tail. Your body gets stronger, and you start to feel more alive than you ever have. It’s good for our bodies to move and work like this. Otherwise they stagnate, get soft, brittle and fat. I’m still fat, but that’s because I love my food and don’t get as much exercise as I did in the beginning. And that’s because I hired 2 gardeners to pitch in. I had to. Doing everything myself was moving at a glacial pace and the ground is just too hard for me to handle at scale.

Being physically able and fit is critical to your happiness level on the farm. If you are taken down by any illness for any reason, it can start having a really negative effect in your life. I had blood poisoning recently. Bed-ridden for 2 full weeks, wound still healing after a month. I was in severe pain and 100% unable to function. My husband stepped in and just took care of business, but I was tormented emotionally and had a huge existential crisis. Being trapped in a bed was not a fun experience for me. I need to be outside; my soul needs it. Luckily, I have big windows so at least had a good view.

Be prepared for anything. Have all the medical kits you need. Give your body rest when it needs it. Feed it healthy food and clean water so it can operate at its best. You know this already. We just don’t do it in the city because it’s a life of convenience and fast foods. That will all change when you move to the country.

Are you going to get all emotional about it? I did

You have no idea how wound up you are living in the city. It’s only once you leave that you get a new perspective. It has taken me nearly 3 years to really start calming down. And by that I mean, not get all emotional and upset about every little thing that comes along.

When we live in the city, we get so mad so quickly. Everything moves at breakneck speed. We rush all the time. We are quick to judge and complain, point fingers. I did it all the time. When you are surrounded by nothing but nature, your brain starts to rewire. You start to detox. You start to calm down. But not at first.

The first 6 months on the farm I was freaking out about all kinds of things. Mostly the bullies in the area. They put me through hell because I refused to accept the status quo they had established. They nearly drove me off the farm, I wanted to sell and just leave. But eventually, after a lot of soul searching and shadow work, I started to let it go – and 2 of the bullies left, the others just backed down after that and peace was restored.  

It's called storming, forming and norming.

Basically, when a new entity is introduced into an existing structure, everything is disrupted. Everyone is up in arms, egos come out to play. New and old entities giving each other a hard time while dominance is established.

Then as time goes by, it starts to settle down. Old entities start conceding that this new entity is here to stay. The new ones get into a rhythm and start making friends.

Then it all becomes normal again. Things flow, it’s business as usual. Everyone knows their role and place in the expanded structure. Until the next new one arrives.

And so it goes on. We’re in norming phase now. Storming on community level took about a year. Forming took another year.

But storming in my own head, that has taken nearly 3 years. I’ve had to realise that I am not Super Woman and that I cannot do it all. A rude awakening indeed as I believe I am indestructible and capable of anything – but it’s okay.

• I’ve learnt that if it wasn’t for my husband, I would have had a much harder experience moving to the country than I did. He does all the heavy lifting and infrastructure that we need to survive and gives me a safe space to just be myself.

• I’ve learnt that if it wasn’t for my business partner who is the most emotionally strong person I have ever known; my business would have been in serious trouble right now. She takes up the slack as I change my whole existence and holds the fort. She is just there for me as an immutable pillar of strength and power.

• I’ve learnt that if it wasn’t for my gardeners, we would still be living in an overgrown jungle. They provide the muscle and input I need to create a garden that can feed us and be a haven for wildlife of all kinds.

• I’ve learnt that if it wasn’t for my friends and mom, I would feel so alone in this world. They provide me the safe emotional space to whine and complain when I’m struggling. They pick me up when I faulter, dust me off. and send me on my way to take over the world again.

I’ve always had to take care of myself. Been single most of my life, built a successful business. It made into a tough, go-getter that is capable of so much. But that left little place to be soft, feminine, gentle - the things I so longed to be.

But as I reflect here on my journey to this point, I realise that I am starting to be more of those things I so craved. I’ve put the support structures that I need around me to allow me to relax into who I really am and who I want to become. No man is an island. It takes a village to raise a child. It takes a village to raise you. And that’s the way it is supposed to be.

Moving to a farm taught me all this.

So was it worth it? Hell yes. I would not change a thing.