Over-Coming Self Sabotage to Create Business Success

What are other reasons I have not succeeded in my online business endevours?

a) I did not allow it.

b) Mental blocks against selling products.

Let’s dive into the detail.

Reason 8 – I Didn’t Allow It

In the world of the Law of Attraction, there is a concept of ‘allowing’. This means defining your desires in fine detail, then forgetting about it and letting the Universe do all the heavy lifting. You need to get out of your own way and allow it to come into your life.

But we get easily bogged down in the doing of it all.

This is the masculine and feminine energy that drives our existence. This has nothing to do with gender and has everything to do with energy and the Law of Attraction.

The masculine part was writing down what I wanted. I planted the seeds. I did the work to write pages and pages in present tense as though it has already happened.

Then what I was supposed to do, was surrender to the process. Trust the process. Trust the Infinite Intelligence.  Be open to synchronicities. Expect and accept miracles. Step back and let the magic work. Go with the flow. Practice gratitude. Be patient. Relax! Enjoy the ride. Let the Universe align in my favour. This is the feminine energy at work.

I didn’t.

I dove into all the things I talked about in part 1 of this story. This led to the vibration of struggle, strain, burnt out, frustration, attachment, forcing an outcome, not trusting the Universe. All very masculine energy that effectively repelled me from the very thing I was trying to attract!

I need to stop the pendulum swing and balance the masculine and feminine energies.

Masculine energy sets the intention. Feminine energy brings it into being.

When reflecting on my journey in this, I realized I have trust issues too.

Ok I’m a complete control freak.

These are the deep emotional wounds coming up for review.

My old fears of abandonment and rejection are influencing my success now. And because the Universe is a benevolent, loving thing, it keeps bringing these belief patterns up to give us a chance to shine a light on them to see if they still serve us.

Which brings us to the next reason.

Reason 9 – Mental Blocks About Selling Products

How is it that I can sell my services with absolute ease and grace, but not products? Why are they different? It’s still me, right? I thought back over my career to see where this could have started.

Two stories came to mind.

At 18, I was a hot, blue-eyed blonde! Drop dead gorgeous, full of the joys of spring, and innocent to the world. I got a temp job in an insurance company where I had to service policies in the call centre. Being the hottie I was, I was invited to numerous parties by the management team. (I was 18, what did I know). After one of these parties, I was driven home by the (married) CEO of the company in his Rolls Royce. He kissed me in the backseat and propositioned me. I refused. I was fired the next week. I didn’t know why and was devastated, thinking I was useless at my job. Of course that wasn’t it. Had I known then what I know now, that would have had an entirely different ending.

A little while later I got a job in a fax paper company, (yes, I’m that old). They took me off the switchboard and put me in telesales. We were given the telephone book, given letters of the alphabet, and had to cold call companies to sell to. You know how you feel now when you get those annoying sales calls and what your reaction is? Try being on the receiving end of that abuse for 8 hours a day, week in and week out, month after month. It was brutal. I quit eventually and moved to another province to go party, (it was the 80’s).

So what did these 2 lessons teach me?

1) Rich people are dangerous predators.

2) I wasn’t good enough to work with products and their customers.

3) Selling products is soul destroying.

Do you see how this is still playing out 3 decades later?

I’m seeing real wealth, (the kind that actually sets you free); as something dirty, (filthy rich), lacking morality, turns you into a bad person that preys on the weak and unsuspecting.

In my first story, the huge wealth of the CEO was created by selling insurance products. My mental blocks kick in and then associate selling products as a bad thing. It created a deeply ingrained belief that selling is pushy, manipulate, dishonest and inauthentic. Thus, I created the stresses and subconsciously sabotaged all my efforts at succeeding in an online business that would all be about product sales.

With my consulting business, I provide expertise, guidance, and personal service that demonstrates I really care about what I do and the people I work with. It feels natural and authentic and aligns to my value system. I’m also giving up my time which I’m seeing as valuable. I have thrived in the consulting world and built a successful business because I am in the flow and all the aspects of it are in alignment.

Changing direction to products is triggering all my fears of not being good enough, imposter syndrome, abandonment issues, fear of rejection, people pleasing. And so, my goal has remained unachieved.

Time to Change My Belief System

I now need to examine these old beliefs I picked up decades ago and decide if am ready to let them go.

This is my shadow work.

It’s integrating these fears and triggers, putting the spotlight on them to see if they are real. Letting go of the ones that don’t serve me. Healing the ones I am struggling with the most. Accepting them all as part of my human experience.

My lack of trust tied to abandonment issues and lack of support has shaped my experience. Constantly trying to prove my lovability led to being bullied in my career and held me back financially. It’s created a scarcity mindset that there is not enough of anything which has kept me firmly under my self-imposed glass ceiling.

I also need to reframe my beliefs about the products I plan on creating. I need to recognize that they can provide immense value, solve problems, and enhance people’s lives in very meaningful ways – just like my consulting services do.

My visualizations need to change once I’ve done my shadow work. I’ll need to visualize confidently and authentically promoting products that I truly believe in; connecting with customers who resonate with the value I have to offer; and feel the same sense of fulfillment and abundance as I do in my consulting business.

Can you relate to these fears?

We don’t realise when we start working or start businesses, just how much of a spiritual journey they are.

Running your own business will bring up every single trigger and fear you have for transmutation. It is a wonderful vessel for self-improvement when you start to understand this.

It forces us to question what we think we know, to look at things with new eyes, examine the underlying emotional wounds. If your business is not successful, you are not doing this work. Chances are, the Universe keeps knocking you down then till you do that work.

How many spiritual, well-intentioned business owners do you see struggling? There are countless numbers, right? They all have these limiting beliefs about money.

In all our defense, we don’t have that many role models in the mainstream to guide us. The mega wealthy have been pulling some very dodgy things not conducive to a prosperous society and they’re celebrated for it.

Can you imagine what the world could look like if all the truly altruistic people had super successful businesses and made lots of money? Think of all the good they can do, the things they can fix.

We owe it ourselves to heal our personal wounds so we can uplift the consciousness of the planet by creating successful businesses that help, not harm. 

This is our work in The Grand Game.